Season 9 Episode 4 Recap: Bahama Drama

This episode had my mind in a whirlwind of WTF! How these women managed to change the actual narrative of the issue had me flabbergasted. This took some real planning and orchestration, but not by Lisa Vanderpump (LVP) as Erika would want us to believe. If LVP had deserved it, I would’ve been the first say she messed up, like I did when she fired James from SUR on Vanderpump Rules. Though I get it because Katie used Me Too on camera to her boss and that would’ve looked horrible on any employer to tolerate any harassment (James doesn’t harass women at work and they know it). So how does one even begin to talk about the complexities of everything that took place?

AFTER DINNER

Since Teddi decided she didn’t want to be LVP’s scapegoat, I suppose it wasn’t long after that the women decided to leave the dinner table. We see flashbacks of LVP telling Dorit that her priority was always the dog and the issue wasn’t really about her as she tried to shut down talks of it. Dorit responded that it is about her which I just had to shake my head at. LVP, to Dorit’s face is letting her know that Lucy was the priority but Dorit wanted her feelings to be the focal point. How daft can one person be? Dorit could have, at that point, dropped it but Rinna got in her ear and she was now feeling validated in her victimhood. Rubbish!

In another flashback we see Kyle siding with Teddi that LVP set both her and Dorit up. I bet she won’t tell LVP that she agreed with this mess. At this point, I’m tired of Kyle so easily throwing LVP under the bus. It’s like she forgot their chat in the beginning of season 5 after the whole debacle in season 4.

Kyle figured out (and by figured out I mean it was revealed) that Brandi was causing mischief in season 4. She knew she owed LVP an apology because it was apparent that Ken & LVP had hers and Mauricio’s back re #tabloidgate. However, as we saw the next day, Kyle tried to explain Teddi’s side of things and why she felt like she was set up. Kyle once again was willing to see everyone’s point of view except LVP, who she claimed is like a sister to her. Then again, if how she treated Kim on the show is indicative of how she treats her blood sisters, she must really love LVP because she’s getting the mild dosage of Kyle’s disloyalties.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Day 2, the crusade against LVP was about to continue. Erika called Teddi so they could play golf together. I find this so surprising. Yes, they agreed at the reunion last season to move forward but they’ve not filmed any scenes together so why did Erika choose her to play golf with? She’s never called LVP to do anything and she’s been on the show with her for 4 years now. They began talking about what happened the night before and Erika wasted no time in furthering Rinna‘s agenda. She even went on to say that LVP thought she could punk Teddi but she thought wrong. Sounds eerily familiar to Rinna saying that LVP was slipping. Erika has never been excited about anything since she’s been on the show, unless it has to do with LVP. This is very similar to the moment she went back to Yolanda after Kyle’s BBQ in season 6 and told her what LVP said but somehow didn’t mention Kyle was prodding her even though Yolanda spoke to both of them about her kids having Lyme.

Anything Erika had to say about LVP should have been taken with a grain of salt because she’s never given her the chance she’s given everyone who she’s wronged. Erika lied about moving on from #pantygate only to bring it up two months after, she lied about what she told Teddi last season then reacted like a maniac when called out, so whatever she had to say about LVP, carried no weight. It’s frustrating yet amusing to see Teddi no longer be a fawn amongst sharks but is lying about her involvement to everyone.

Rinna ensured she went with Dorit because she needed to plant more seeds of doubt about LVP. I’m actually annoyed and done with Dorit. Camille was the only one asking the right questions about the whole situation. Everyone else seemed to care more about how this story got out and not that Dorit messed up the whole thing to begin with. Rinna wasn’t about to let Camille have her plans blow up so she chimed in again, telling Dorit that LVP set the whole thing up and she did nothing wrong.

I can’t believe I liked this woman. Like, Rinna was my first ever tv crush as a kid but the more I watch her on reality tv, the more repulsed I get. How can someone harbour such hatred for another person all because they didn’t take the fall for some crazy plot? Rinna, the same woman who accused Dorit of hosting a party and providing a space for people to do coke. Rinna, the same person who texted Kim that she will f*ck her up and told Eden that Kim was close to death. Yet, she is who Dorit is listening to. Dorit, seemed to be soaking up this support because she knew she was guilty and there was no way around that. After all, she already returned one dog, so she knew the procedure.

LAST SUPPER

Before the ladies gathered for dinner, LVP called Teddi so they could talk about the issue. She walked into LVP’s suite and immediately demanded an apology. God, she’s like Eileen steroids. Teddi accuses her of giving John Blizzard specific instructions to tell her about the dog. LVP lets her know she never did such a thing because she wanted to shut the whole thing down. Teddi then pulls out her receipt to show that John Blizzard did tell her that. All of this is a bunch of he said she said. Teddi, on social media wants us to believe she and John Blizzard are not friends and are not close, but yet on the show she wants us to believe the word of someone she claimed she isn’t close with? She fails to realise that she’s on a tv show so we don’t only follow what’s on screen. Make it make sense. What I find funny is that Teddi supposedly showed her proof yet what we saw was a cropped photo mess of a whole text thread. Text messages that are on Teddi‘s phone. So why crop them Teddi if you have nothing to hide? They were at an impasse.

They finally made it to the dinner table but it wasn’t long before Teddi protest she can’t sit and pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t because she isn’t a fake person. At this point, Teddi has claimed she never told anyone about Lucy (she told Rinna), claimed she had proof that LVP told Blizzard to tell her (she showed a cropped text message) and said she doesn’t lie (that was the biggest lie of all). Teddi really sat at dinner and lied to everyone about her involvement and I’m just speechless. Who the hell did were we introduced to last season? Who is this new person? She has done a complete 180. To make matters worse, Dorit said she believed Teddi which was when LVP decided to leave the table. It’s Puerto Rico all over again. Dorit, has already taken on the role of the victim in this situation at this point, so anyone who’s siding with her, is going to be her best friend. Fickle!

I can’t understand why Teddi would do this. I’ve done extensive research like I was doing a thesis for my masters degree and it’s doing my head in. Let’s say LVP did want Teddi to know. Why wouldn’t she? They were friends. Teddi went into Vanderpump Dogs once per week, so she probably would have heard anyways. Does Teddi expect us to believe LVP told her to respond the way she did to John Blizzard by saying she would ask if that was Dorit’s dog? Gimme a break! Teddi claimed she isn’t the type to want to hurt Dorit but we clearly saw the text exchange and if their was a plan to talk about this, she was fully on board. What changed?

I have a theory. Filming for the new season had just started. The week of the Daily Mail party at Tom Tom, LVP was swamped work as the restaurant had no light nor water. When Teddi, Kyle and LVP filmed at Vanderpump Dogs as we saw in episode 1, this was on July 12th (the Thursday) the day after the Daily Mail party. This was Teddi’s scene to promote her business by doing something that will benefit a charity (in this case Vanderpump Dogs). Teddi and Blizzard had been texting prior to the scene and this was when Teddi mentioned she would ask about the dog if Blizzard brought it out (evidence in the clip above). Teddi’s event was the following Saturday July 14th. After this point, Teddi had no more use Vanderpump Dogs nor LVP. About a month later, even though they edited everything in episode 1, Kyle had her BBQ. LVP had already met with Dorit and PK and addressed the issue. So, if they claim LVP is this master manipulator, why wouldn’t she tell John Blizzard to tell Teddi everything was sorted? That’s because there was no plan for a set up. Teddi, after deciding to squash the beef between her and Dorit, had this information and decided to use it to her advantage. Sorta like how she ran her mouth to Rinna last season that Dorit had been talking badly about her. Kyle salivates at anything distracts people from what goes on in her actual life and this was the perfect opportunity to steer the cameras in another direction, LVP. Everything goes back to Teddi and Kyle, not dropping the subject when it really didn’t have anything to do with them. Kyle should remember….

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.

CHATTERBOX KEIRN