The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Before you chew my head off about the title of this blog, remember this is not a think piece nor a dissertation LOL (although I’d like to think I have a PhD in Real Housewives), so my opinions and theories are just that, opinions and theories. No hate intended. Let’s get into it.

After the mess that was season 9, I was unsure of what to expect this season. I, like a portion of the fanbase, lost a bit of interest in this particular group of women after how badly they treated Lisa Vanderpump (you don’t need to agree) over some contrived story. Check it out here https://keirnthomas.com/2019/07/31/in-beverly-hills-vanderpump-rules/). So when rumours started circulating about who was in and out for season 10, around June 2019, as well as the possibility of new/or returning cast members, Bravo had my attention.

Filming for the new season began around mid July (I think) which I thought was a little too early given the backlash from last season. I tweeted that if Bravo and Evolution were smart, they’d add some new faces. The women I had in mind were Garcelle Beauvais, Laila Ali and McKenzie Westmore. About two months into filming, Bravo did something out of character. The network announced that Garcelle was going to be joining the cast for season 10 as well as Sutton. One of my choices made the cut and it became clear that Bravo was worried about the show since Lisa Vanderpump wasn’t returning. A producer actually said that much in a podcast (start at 58 minutes).

Episode 1 – The Crown Isn’t So Heavy (But It Is)

After months of waiting in anticipation for the start of the new season, we finally had our first episode. I have to admit that it was an interesting start but nothing much happened. Erika cried. We caught up with the women since they last got together to film for the reunion and talk about Lisa Vanderpump at Kyle’s home. Erika cried. The women went to New York for Kyle’s fashion show and it was there that we met Garcelle and Sutton for the first time on the show. The producers used Lisa Rinna to make some weird dig at Lisa Vanderpump by prompting her to put a crown on her head at a showroom with Sutton. It was such a pathetic ploy because of the randomness of the crown, hence the title of the episode. Erika cried.

While in New York, Teddi brought up a magazine article she saw about Charlie Sheen taking Denise to court. She asked Denise if she’d seen it. I wondered why she would do something like that. Of course Denise would’ve been aware of what Charlie did. Erika quickly suggested that Denise call an attorney right away, and got her husband on the phone. Denise looked a bit puzzled but politely declined the aid. This was the stage being set to bring up Denise’s business on camera. Funny, when you think about it because these very women made a deal to not talk about court matters on the show. Denise even defended them when it came up. If only she knew what they had in store for her. As dramatically edited as the last five minutes were, I could tell where the season was heading. Denise breaking the fourth wall, the editors saying she stopped filming in December, when she really just missed two events, Rinna being extra that we won’t see Denise again. The acting was turned up. Did I mention Erika cried?

Episode 2 – To Live and Text in Beverly Hills

Teddi Bear Richards sent a very passive aggressive invitation to her super expensive wellness retreat, to the women (I wonder if it’s similar to where Brandi Redmond went after her past actions resurfaced last January. LOL.) which was the focal point for the episode. *yawn* She claimed she didn’t care whether the women showed up or not yet she kept talking about it. Like girl, you caused an issue where there didn’t need to be one. At Sutton’s store opening Lisa Rinna and Garcelle said they wouldn’t attend and quite frankly I’m over it at this point. Next!

Episode 3 – First Impressions, True Confessions

Kyle threw a welcome home party for herself as she finished shooting her role in the new Halloween Kills movie. I swear to God, it’s like they’re going to Halloween us to death about a role Kyle played in a movie over 100 years ago LOL. A movie she wasn’t even a central character in. Good luck to her, I guess. They’re all at Kyle’s and they play some first impressions game. This game had the women speak about the person to their left. Teddi and Sutton had a little tiff and Kyle made sure Teddi was sat to Sutton’s left. Kyle starts off by dishing out the first compliment to Garcelle (this is funny considering she whispers behind their backs and calls them fake a** b*tches), the rest followed suit and kept kissing up to each other until Sutton called Teddi boring. The first trap was then laid out for Denise and Aaron when Kyle decided to ask him about his job, while he was completely inebriated.

Episode 4 – All’s Fair in Glam and War

The women arrive at Teddi’s retreat. Kyle had an issue that Dorit showed in the afternoon and not earlier because if she, the “queen” had to do it, how dare Dorit be late!? However, both Dorit and Denise said they’d be late. I still don’t get what Kyle’s issue was especially because Teddi wasn’t showing any signs that she was upset with Dorit. For some reason Kyle started an argument with Dorit because she glammed up for the retreat which was carried over into the dinner when Denise arrived. Denise then invited the women to a pizza party at her home. This ends up being a big mistake.

Kyle was the first to arrive and as soon as sets foot on Denise’s property, her judgment begins. She talked about an ice sculpture that Denise had at the party. I don’t even see what big deal was. Kyle just can’t help herself at this point. *face palm* Denise also had her kids and their friends at the party.

Garcelle mentioned she hadn’t been with anyone since her ex-husband which led her to ask Mauricio to hook up her up. Kyle chimed in, stating her preference for men with dark skin and an accent. Dorit then asked if that was why she (Kyle) was so close to Teddi. You know, since Teddi’s husband is hispanic. Dorit was reaching here but what happened next made me wonder if this was all planned. Here’ why…

Kyle mentioned Teddi’s not her type as a response to Dorit and that she had never done “the lesbian thing”. This is the second time she brought it up; the first being at home with Mauricio moments before Denise’s party. How did we even get here? When was lesbian even mentioned? So why did Kyle go there? Hmmm. Denise immediately went into mom mode and tried telling the women to keep it down as they were obviously getting loud and the kids could hear them. Garcelle added her two cents that she kissed a girl and Erika drove it home by saying she had relations with a couple. Colour me surprised when she said this. If you’ve been paying any attention to the rumours, you’d know that the central storyline is about whether or not Denise hooked up with she-who-shall-not-be-named while she recently got married.

Kyle again says “apparently I’m a lesbian” (why does she keep saying this? Did she already hear something that she needed to get out there?) just because Dorit thinks she and Teddi come as a package deal. Let’s be real. They are a package deal and nothing is wrong with that. Kyle has to have a bestfriend that she’s really close with and since she ruined her friendship with Lisa Vanderpump, Teddi filled that slot. The other women agreed with Dorit which got Kyle really riled up. She comments again that she had to get up at 5am to go to Teddi’s event (why complain about going to her bestie’s event early?) while Dorit was getting glammed up. Denise mentioned that they knew Dorit would be late and nothing is wrong with her getting glam. This led Kyle to start badmouthing Denise, calling a ragamuffin because she dared to defend Dorit.

They tell Kyle she’d never blindly defend anyone in the group like she does Teddi and she brings up the fact that she did defend Dorit in puppygate (I see it as she defended Teddi but used Dorit as the cover because she knew how guilty Teddi was). Lisa Rinna adds that Kyle wouldn’t defend them against Kim (the biggest lie told because Kyle had never defended Kim, especially when it came to Lisa Rinna attacking her nonstop since season 5). Kyle got really upset over this (rightfully so) and told Lisa Rinna to f*ck off. Denise, like good friends do, defended Lisa Rinna. She’ll soon regret this.

Kyle stormed off but not before calling Denise a ragamuffin behind her back, again. Teddi and Lisa Rinna got into it a little bit which led her to say that all Lisa Rinna does is ask questions, something Kim Richards had said in the past. Too bad this quarrel lasted a second because this could’ve been the moment Lisa Rinna got her just desserts. Teddi was on to something. Nothing got resolved because the main source of the issue, Kyle, called them fake and ran off. Way to keep the story moving. Gotta give it to my girl Kyle.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesday nights at 9pm on Bravo.

– CHATTERBOXKEIRN