The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Episode 5 – Let the Mouse Go!

Coming off the crazy train that Kyle built at Teddi’s event, then drove at Denise’s pizza party, Erika meets up with Denise and she offers up an “apology” for their inappropriateness at her home. She was the first one to bring it up. Denise let Erika know that the kids overheard their conversation because she spoke with her eldest daughter about it. Denise was concerned about what the parents of her daughters’ friends would say if they went home and shared what took place. She also hadn’t spoken to her kids about such topics and didn’t want them to hear it in that manner. Any sensible person should agree. But I suppose that isn’t as common as the flu. For some reason, Erika (who’s a pretend June Cleaver, a name she used to describe Denise later on, around her husband while wearing c^nty necklaces around the women) can’t seem to wrap her mind around Denise’s position. She seems to think a fictional character Denise played in a movie, is who she really is in real life. What’s her endgame here?

Erika told Denise that she met with Kyle and that Kyle felt like everyone was attacking her. Remember, none of this would’ve happened if Kyle wasn’t upset at Dorit on Teddi’s behalf. Denise didn’t like that Kyle kept dropping loud F-bombs with the kids so close by. Erika (who has become Kyle’s public defender) mentions that Kyle has so much going on. I seriously had to laugh because Denise is literally dealing with her ex husband drama in court, filming every week for Bold & the Beautiful as well as this show, dealing with teenager daughters and a daughter with special needs. Like Denise said, they all have sh^t going on. Kyle had no reason to freak out like that. The petty Kyle returned as everyone responded to Denise’s thank you text, except her.

Elsewhere Garcelle was celebrating her twin sons birthday with their dad and friends that would soon arrive. I like Garcelle and her little family and I love getting to know her more. But so far, Garcelle hasn’t been deeply involved in the pettiness or so we thought as she tried to get Kyle’s to speak her mind at Denise’s but Kyle didn’t budge. We saw this in a flashback. Due to her celebrating her kids birthday, she wasn’t able to attend the DNA clothing line launch. DNA is a line that allegedly is designed by Lisa Rinna’s daughters. I say that because they couldn’t answer any questions about the line when asked. So much for opening doors and them walking through on their own. *insert eye roll*

The women went for dinner after they left the launch. Sutton whispered to Dorit that she was going to flip out if she saw Lisa Rinna’s makeup artist. Apparently they had some business venture that messed with their personal relationship. You know what they say…don’t do business with family or friends. At the table, Dorit brings up what Sutton said but embellished the whole exchange which prompted Rinna to snap at Sutton over something that didn’t even happen. It’s so funny how Rinna can be upset over a hypothetical situation that involves her daughters but Denise can’t ask them to be appropriate around her kids. Sutton cries and honestly I’m bored even talking about this. LOL. I now see why she was demoted. She fizzled out.

Dorit then asks Kyle why she called them fake a** b*tches. Denise commented that the table with her kids and their friends behaved more maturely at the pizza party than the table of grownups. Erika was like “give them time“, “oh, you know who you invited over“, then in her confessional (where she shares all her rehearsed lines, written by her posse) she added “I’ve apologised, theres nothing else I can say. So if you (Denise) want to pretend to be mother of the year, go ahead.” I’m really trying to understand why Erika is behaving this way. It doesn’t make sense especially with how she behaved last season with Denise. Something’s amiss and I smell a set up. Remember the mother of the year comment.

Kyle brings up the glam issue again which segues into her saying Denise having an ice sculpture and showing up in glam now, when she wasn’t in glam last season makes her fake. This is so hilarious and hypocritical of Kyle because Teddi (her bestie) started getting glammed up all last season when she didn’t do that in season 8. Kyle said nothing. Denise lets Kyle know that having an ice sculpture isn’t a big deal because she always has something different at her parties, especially if one of her kids wanted it. This is something Kyle would’ve known if she spent time getting to know Denise beyond “you’re fabulous”. She and Denise get into it and Denise makes it clear that she actually goes to work, on set, so she will be in glam quite often when she films with them. She is “f*cking Denise Richards, Kyle” and she’s been on almost ever magazine cover the women would want to be on.

After which, Denise basically tells Kyle that she talks too much and doesn’t listen to anyone but herself. A round of applause for Denise. Kyle is proving what Lisa Vanderpump said about her friendship with Kyle being all about Kyle, to be very true.

Episode 6 – Read Between the Signs

Erika invites the women for an astrology reading at her home but let’s face it, it is just another excuse to dress up and plant seeds or rather, decide on who the target will be. We saw her and Kyle talk on the phone about Denise not wanting them to talk about certain topics around her kids and still not “understanding” Denise’s position. They met Tom, he shared some story about John Wayne, Garcelle likes him, wrap!

The astrology guy gives his reading and the moment he said Erika was emotional and Kyle doesn’t like someone being treated unfairly, I knew he was full of sh*t. Those two readings couldn’t be further from the truth given what we’ve come to expect as these women’s on an off camera behaviour. Anyways, the conversation turned to Kyle and Teddi again. The women were asking Kyle to admit that she and Teddi are closer than they are with the rest of the group. Kyle refuses to do. Dorit and Sutton get into it. Sutton raised her voice and Erika hut her down by reminding her that she was in her (Erika‘s) home. So f*cking ironic given her stance with Denise’s one ask.

Sutton expressed that she felt like the women don’t really want to get to know her, to which Garcelle agreed. Isn’t it funny how Sutton felt the same way Garcelle did, expressed it, but Garcelle is the one accused on wanting a storyline by fans and Kyle herself? Garcelle tells Kyle that she feels like Kyle glazes over her. Like Garcelle said, maybe Kyle is just good for the surface with some people. We see Garcelle, Lisa Rinna and Denise leave and Kyle didn’t even acknowledge it. Point proven. They add that Kyle doesn’t listen and brings everything back to her. Kyle tells Erika that she doesn’t have good friends, so she wouldn’t understand why she was close with Teddi. This was after Kyle and Dorit were trying to explain why they feel she gives Teddi preferential treatment. That was such a mean thing to say and you know what, at this moment, Erika deserves it. You’ll find out why.

What we’ve seen happen so far, makes me wonder who the target for the season was or better yet, who had a part to play in the central storyline. Dorit and Garcelle clearly had issues with Kyle, though Kyle played it in the media like she had no clue where Garcelle’s comments about her came from. Very passive and manipulative if you ask me. But we see that Kyle and Erika had another plan as they made Denise’s request a bigger deal than it was. How did we get from literally everyone having an issue with Kyle over 3 months of filming to Denise being unreasonable for asking grown women to tone down the sex talk around kids? There are snipers from the side and it’s not Lisa Vanderpump as some would want fans to believe.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesday nights at 9pm on Bravo.

– CHATTERBOXKEIRN