Season 9 Episode 13 – Grilling Me Softly

LET’S GO CAMPING

On this episode, the ladies treated us with an unexpected twist; they went camping. I know! I was a bit surprised too because none of the women have shown, over the years, that this is something they’d enjoy. But hey, they can only film so much more content of Erika and Lisa Rinna (Rinna) at the gym. LoL. As is expected when the women are preparing for travel, we see individual clips of them packing the “necessities”.

We started off with Kyle and Teddi exchanging words over the phone about the amount of stuff needed then made a joke about glam squads going. Dorit was then seen telling her glam squad that they won’t be able to go on the trip, so she’s going to be all natural.

Next up, Rinna was with her husband, Harry. Harry seemed genuinely amused by Rinna’s 24 hour bag. The trip was just for a day. I gotta say, seeing Harry this excited about Rinna going camping was a delight. I can only imagine how many times he’d invited her to join him. Rinna being Rinna, packed a whole bunch of stuff, you’d think she was going away for two weeks.

The women began arriving at Teddi’s (she sure is getting a lot of screen time this season at her home) one by one. As soon as Kyle arrived she mentioned that PK messaged her and apologised. She said Dorit could have handled the situation better and that she lets things go easily. Yea, right!

Soon after they headed off to the campsite but not before they go crazy in the Vons for groceries. I swear it’s like these women have never bought groceries before. LOL. They grabbed things they all like and the bill came to over $700. To be rich…ahhh.

They arrived at the campsite then went straight for their tents. The tents were decked out to the fullest, way better than when the women went glamping on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Erika opted for a massage as the rest of the women indulged in a game of beer pong. To my surprise, Dorit smashed this game and emerged the victor. Shocked.

After Erika returned, the conversation shifted a little bit to their favourite pastime, talking about Lisa Vanderpump (LVP). Okay…they sorta have to address things related to LVP because whilst she wasn’t filming with everyone, she was still in communication with a few people and information was still being brought back to the group. Dorit claimed she still doesn’t know what she did for LVP to cut her off, when Teddi made sure to say this was Dorit’s punishment and that LVP was angry with her initially. All lies! If we go back to the very first episode of the season when LVP, Kyle and Teddi filmed at Vanderpump Dogs Center (VDC), Kyle got upset at LVP for asking her why she hadn’t been by TomTom all year when she wasn’t angry at Dorit for giving away Lucy. 

Erika chimed in, stating that she only cared about the women on the camping trip and those who show up. She continued further in her confessional that she can’t be friends with someone who keeps score and moves people around like chess pieces. She then said she’s never bought into LVP and never will. Erika was being her usual self, talking crap about LVP while never giving her a fair shot nor say any of this to her face, like she claims she does with people. The thing is, if she didn’t have to pretend to have this great friendship with her Hollywood friend, Yolanda, she and LVP could have possibly been a great duo. Kyle let us know once more that she has no regrets of accusing LVP of being angry at Dorit , so she (LVP) tried to set her (Dorit) up, without any proof. She’s only sorry about the outcome, that is, her getting kicked out.

They went for a short trek till they came upon the area for rock climbing. Dorit showcased her skillset by beating out Teddi and Denise. When it was Camille’s turn, she mentioned that she used a contraption like the rock climbing harness on an ex of hers. Hey Kelsey! 

CAMPFIRES AND HAPPY ENDINGS

Night fell and they gathered around a campfire after eating the burgers they made. Unseasoned, I might add. Talk changed to happy endings after Denise returned from her massage and made a comment about being bummed about not getting one. An obvious joke…maybe. The women seemed completely thrown as mouths dropped wide open. Denise decided this would be her moment to shine and shared that she and her new husband, Aaron, went on the hunt for a massage with a happy ending. I couldn’t believe my ears. Her excuse was that she hadn’t met a man who hadn’t received one and she wanted that for him.

The ladies reaction were hilarious and most of them seemed to be blushing. It didn’t end there. Denise further added that she has also received a happy ending which was an also another shocker for the women. Oh Denise! Camille then shared when she was dating a guy in New York, she would help him get better orgasms by massaging his prostrate. Is that Dimitri?

Camille asked Kyle if things were good with her Dorit after their dinner at Teddi’s. Kyle stated that PK apologised and things are fine. Dorit joins them and soon after Teddi added, like she has been doing since LVP neglected to be her storyline, that nothing comes out of people’s mouth’s unless they’re thinking it. She just can’t accept that Kyle and Dorit want to move on. Camille decided to let her know she needs to stop inserting herself into things that weren’t her business. It is here that Camille probably saw what Teddi’s gameplay was. Teddi responded by telling Camille that she only talks out of the side of her mouth and never to her face and that she should stick to her storyline of coming for her. Season 1 Camille returned and told Teddi that her face was right there, basically knuck if you buck. While all this was happening, Kyle kept playing with her and giving her usual wry smile. This is Kyle’s tell. She does this whenever someone is repeating stuff she talks about, to the person, the gossip is usually about. Before things got further off course, Rinna piped up and reminded the group what the purpose of the trip was for, by saying this all started from one person.

Camille pulled her reigns and fell in line. She added that it’s the hurt from LVP that was seeping into the group. Wrong again ladies! This all started because Dorit gave up Lucy, Teddi was planning a take down and thought LVP would be on board since she this was her work, and when she realised that wasn’t the case, reeled Kyle in, who helped her hide the messaged from everyone and kept bringing the topic up to LVP. That’s how we they got to that point. It’s all documented. You might disagree if you dislike LVP but that’s how it is. Kyle gave her bits and said that they all care about LVP but it was time to move on, an indication the storyline was about to switch. 

They retired for bed shortly after and had a very awkward morning at the table as Teddi and Camille didn’t really acknowledge each other. Can’t wait to see what happens next.

It would have been so good seeing LVP on the trip because she would have added for more content and fun moments but that’s the way the cookie crumbled. I liked the episode as I do every episode of every season, even if I say it was slow. What I found funny was the fan reaction as well as the cast tweeting up a storm about the episode being so fun. The fans moaned and groaned about how boring last season was and that they needed drama (I never did as I thought the women laughed way more last season). Now the same fans are praising an episode for light drama and fun, that they’ve been complaining about for two years. All this just to stick it to LVP and that she isn’t needed. Well, they couldn’t stop talking about her and that was what was edited.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.

CHATTERBOX KEIRN