Scrambling For A Storyline

Season 9 Episode 11 – Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

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Sigh.

The episode started off with Kyle and Teddi taking their daughters, Portia and Slate respectively, on a photo-shoot for some children’s makeup brand. This was such a cute little scene. I always enjoy any scene with Kyle and Portia, make that any scene with the women and their kids. Portia is a natural in front of the camera but poor little Slate is still finding her groove. They both looked adorable and their moms were just beaming with pride. It made me think about this gif…Image result for you're doing amazing sweetie

But what is a meet up without a bit of tittle-tattle with these two? Kyle went on to share that she was having doubts about being Camille’s bridesmaid at her wedding. *insert eye rollWhy don’t these women go to the source of their discontentment FIRST, before going to each other? Though I’d like to give Kyle the benefit of the doubt, I’m not so certain she deserves it.

She told Teddi that Camille chose a dress with a capped sleeve (I have no idea what that is) for her bridesmaid dress and she doesn’t wear dresses with capped sleeves because it makes her arms look bigger than they should or something of the sort. I really don’t think this is the reason Kyle had doubts about being there for Camille, as a bridesmaid. I think she was rather pissed off Camille didn’t “defend” her in the text to Lisa Vanderpump (LVP) re the bridal shower. But if she was being serious and that was the reason, then she sure let her narcissism show. I mean, did she expect to outshine Camille on her big day? They talked about some RV trip and going camping soon which shocked me because the last time I checked, this was The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, not the OC (sorry, but you know what I mean).

Rinna is then seen filling in Erika (who is supposed to be on tour, AGAIN) about what went down at the dinner with her mother. Instead of talking about the drama she had with Camille re the judge, she talked about LVP. I thought they said once LVP stopped filming with them they were much happier and getting along? Rinna went on to say they’ve all been friends a long time so LVP should reach out to them and not turn her back on them. Isn’t this laughable? These women hadn’t even reached out to LVP to hear her side of things and all agreed she was lying. But LVP decided she wasn’t going to be around that type of negativity in her fragile state, and somehow they can’t understand it? Wow!

WHO REALLY HAS A RIGHT TO BE HURT?

Kyle and Dorit met up at Kyle’s home to discuss some upcoming concert for Boy George but it didn’t take long before they yap about their favourite subject, LVP. Dorit tells Kyle if she had a friend that wanted space, she would give it to them and Kyle commented that she and Dorit are in the same boat and that this whole thing is on LVP. Yea right! None of this was Kyle’s business in the first place. She didn’t even wish LVP a happy birthday publicly, especially after posting everyone else. Something she could have done because the audience had no clue she was that involved in #puppygate. Kyle claims LVP doesn’t like being told she’s wrong and she only surrounds herself with yes people. She goes on to say that friends should be able to call each other out on stuff and grow from it. Once again, she says she believes LVP did what she’s been accused of but loves her just the same. How does that make any sense to a sane person? How can you want someone in your life whom you think so negatively of? The only reason for that is if you benefit in some weird way. I mean, no one is asking Kyle about her life anymore, it’s all about LVP. Kyle goes on to say LVP is a Virgo so she’s very “me, me, me”. So funny coming from the woman who couldn’t recall who Nanny Kay was, even though LVP had talked about her so many times. You know who else is a Virgo? Kim Richards. LOL.

Dorit played ignorant as to why LVP cut her off because she wasn’t the one who had an argument with her. I swear, these women are doing my head in. Dorit told every single cast member that she won’t let LVP bully her and she knew for a fact that LVP was behind the Radar Online article. It’s so funny how everyone has dismissed Teddi’s texts (actual proof) and because there was no tangible evidence to pin on LVP they went the route of #tabloidgate. Dorit needs to accept that she wasn’t innocent and it was her being extremely vocal about how upset she was which also gave Kyle more ammo attack LVP in her own home.

While Kyle and Dorit have their little chat, the 2 minutes of LVP continued as she had lunch with Denise. I like how Denise but so far she’s not given us much and I’m getting bored. Bravo is basically paying her to workout with her husband, something they already have been doing with Tamra from The Real Housewives of Orange County for about 6 years now. Denise tells LVP she’s missed by the women and that they love her. LVP responds by telling her she wouldn’t love someone who did the things she’s been accused of and she doubts the women miss her. She chose to distance herself because she couldn’t have that type of negativity at that time. Denise seems to think LVP should defend herself and not run away, something Rinna obviously has voiced. Denise, it doesn’t work like that. Had anyone of the women reached out to her since filming started all of 3 months prior, then I’d be more inclined to agree but no one filmed any scenes with LVP besides Kyle, Teddi and Dorit and sadly, they are the ones who caused everything to happen. Denise still thinks the friendships are salvageable and basically is agreeing with Kyle that the onus is on LVP to fix it. Bullsh*t!

BOY GEORGE OVER ERIKA

Erika had been talking about her tour, AGAIN, since the season started and every scene the producers showed of her tour, were flashbacks. I can’t even laugh. The other half of the episode was centred around the women meeting up at Teddi’s so they could all go to the concert together. Denise opted not to go, so she could spend time with her kids.

While on their way, Teddi revealed she messaged LVP. So let me get this straight. Teddi found the time to message LVP, to talk about moving on but 3 months prior, she couldn’t message her to find out if what Blizzard supposedly told her, was coming directly from her? Yet, she, her fans and the women want us to believe LVP set this up? She’s so transparent. Teddi, at that point, successfully turned the attention away from herself but expected to have LVP around for a storyline because what has she brought to us this season except lies?

It’s not lost on me that even though the producers wet themselves over Erika that they chose to highlight Boy George’s concert instead of hers. LOL. I’m still shocked that the women truly had nothing to give that we sat through 10 minutes of a concert, on a programme about the Housewives, that didn’t feature any of them.

After the concert, the women gathered backstage, with the exception of Erika as she had to leave for another performance on her tour. They began debriefing. Kyle talked about feeling vulnerable if she was a performer on stage and that she would be scared, when Paul Kemsley (PK) quipped that she can’t even get along with her best friend (LVP) so she would have issues like that.

Who told PK to say that? All hell broke loose and you could see the colour disappear from Kyle’s face because she didn’t expect that remark. They begin to go back and forth as PK and Dorit tell her that it was a bad joke. Kyle seems to think she is in the same doghouse as PK and Dorit when it comes to LVP, and PK made sure to let her know, that’s not the case because he spoke to Ken about meeting up to smooth things over. Kyle started getting worked up over the situation as she usually does and throws a fit. Typical of Kyle when she gets called out. I guess LVP isn’t the only one who doesn’t like it when people don’t agree with her, huh? The women all sided with Kyle because they think PK was out of line and is mocking the situation with Kyle and LVP.

SEASON 1 & 2 KYLE, DECIDE TO SHOW UP

Kyle, after stating to Dorit while they met at her house, that LVP always runs away from a confrontation (I don’t see how that’s a bad thing, even though it’s completely false because the clips Evolution showed to back up Kyle’s claims were all clips of LVP walking away from what can be described as an ambush or as Ken put it in season 4, a sabotage attack) couldn’t get out of the room fast enough from PK. Upon leaving she said some not so nice things about PK and that she wished him luck sleeping with his wife later when they get home.

Dorit tried to explain to PK that his joke was in poor taste and that he should apologise but PK seemed to not care because whatever Kyle told them had happened when she went to LVP’s home, caused him to lose communication with his long time friends.

Kyle was so upset about the one comment PK made which I found to be ironic given she had been saying LVP’s reaction to being called a liar in her own home, was extreme. Kyle then stated she was only in the situation because she stuck of Dorit and was being honest and telling the truth. But she inserted herself in the situation from the beginning and was pissed off that LVP wasn’t madder at Dorit. When she spoke of honesty, what did she mean? She knew about the text messages from the first day she filmed with Teddi and LVP at Vanderpump Dog Centre, and from what we’ve been shown, had not told anyone. Instead, she helped Teddi bury the messages and craft the plan to go after LVP. Kyle claims she doesn’t hold grudges but I feel like everything thing she’s always accused LVP of, are the worst qualities she possesses and does a great deal of projection. LVP is there so Kyle can always have someone to be the villain, while she sheds her tears.

One comment that stood out and possible Kyle veering off script, was whole venting to the women on the outside, she claimed if Dorit hadn’t given up the dog, then they wouldn’t be in the situation. She could admit that because she was angry that PK called her out but yet she and the rest wanted to protect Dorit? Sounds to me that the need to make LVP the villain was far greater than holding Dorit accountable. Dorit arrives on scene to apologise on PK’a behalf but Teddi would not keep quiet. She kept chiming in, which caused Dorit to snap at her. Good on you Dorit! It was at this juncture that Dorit let’s Kyle know that her issues with LVP had nothing to do with her so she should stop saying that. Another shining moment for Dorit. Kyle seemed to accept her apology but decided to throw one more jab at PK in her confessional. But only LVP isn’t allowed jabs.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.

CHATTERBOX KEIRN

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Author: Keirn

Realist. Gobby. Juror #8. Follow me on twitter @keirnthomas. I watch a lot of tv and have a lot to say.

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