Season 9 Episode 2 Recap: Eat Your Heart Out

YOU’RE INVITED TO DORIT’S PARTY

Planning a dinner party worthy of being talked about is no easy feat. It takes great effort and attention to detail. So it came as no surprise to me that coming off of episode 1 (the first few days/weeks of filming) , Dorit had some grand dinner party ahead. Any good host(ess) knows the four most important components of any successful dinner party, at least from my view, are the setting, the food, the guests and the entertainment. Dorit had this in the bag. Unfortunately, this was no ordinary dinner party, as you’ll come to see.

THE SETTING

Like a luxury tablecloth from Neiman Marcus, what will become #Lucygate, was being laid so effortlessly by Dorit. In episode 1, we got a glimpse into this dinner party. To jog your memory, Dorit messed up by not returning Lucy to Vanderpump Dogs but she has not realised how much worse things could have gotten if Lucy wasn’t microchipped. Erika has already been made aware of this and so she had to fill Lisa Rinna (Rinna) in.

Dorit wastes no time in telling Rinna about her robbery (look at Erika’s facial expression, she’s trying so hard to seem interested LoL. They’re really editing her to seem lovable and more relaxed. I can’t.), which leads Rinna to suggest that Dorit should get a dog. Look, I know there are some dogs that are trained to be protectors but why not suggest she gets a gun or an upgraded security system as well? Like the amazing host Dorit is, she drops a few hints about Lucy  then says she can’t even talk about it. Really? I guess she can’t give away all the secrets else no one would show up to this party of hers.

After she and her husband, PK, sat with Lisa Vanderpump (LVP) and Ken to talk about their handling of Lucy, LVP made it clear she was wasn’t blaming her for anything (even though she should) but Dorit seemed to have thought otherwise. I like Dorit but she could have really let this go because she was in the wrong and LVP wasn’t even asking them for the $5000 fine that they incurred. 

Dorit is smart. So far she has been able to get Erika on her side (which wasn’t hard considering Erika doesn’t like LVP) and now she’s planted the seed to recruit Rinna. This is so laughable because both women had been horrible to her in the past. Sure people grow and whatever but LVP has always defended her. She now had her expensive cutlery, set. Although I’m not her biggest fan at the moment, I gotta give it to her. Then again, I could simply be making her out to be iconic, to make up for an otherwise lackluster episode. 

WHAT’S ON THE MENU

The women gathered at Rinna for some baking thing which I really have no interest in talking about. It’s important to acknowledge how brave Amelia was for speaking about her eating disorder and the steps she took to better herself. Rinna and Teddi bonded over a similar story but Teddi was gaining weight instead of losing it, when she had just moved to LA to pursue acting. We’ve heard this story all of last season and I really do not have time for it this season. Maybe that’s why she switched up.

Dorit decided that they all needed a getaway, so a trip to The Bahamas was planned. LVP contemplated on whether or not she should go. She had just finished filming the finale for Vandepump Rules, after throwing herself into work just two days after burying her brother, so taking a vacation would seem like a good thing to do. Ken encouraged her to go because he knew for certain that she always had fun with Kyle and she would have Dorit there to back her up. My, oh my! If they only knew that a repeat of the last time they were in the Caribbean, as a group in season 4, was going to take place.

After a little push, LVP agreed to go. We saw again where she acknowledged in her confessional (no doubt answering a question posed by producers), that even though Dorit messed up, she still loved her and “that’s the way Dorit rolls”. Oh LVP! If only you knew, you were on the menu. 

WHO MADE THE GUEST LIST?

The women all gathered at the airport to take a private jet to The Bahamas. All seven women and Camille seemed pretty excited about spending some time in The Bahamas. As we’ve all come to know by now, LVP loves to joke around. This isn’t something new. So when Dorit said she would be rooming with her, of course LVP wasn’t going to pass up a chance to make fun of her. She does it with everyone (to her detriment). Teddi couldn’t stop herself from smiling just a little bit. Kyle then commented that LVP was taking a jab at Dorit. Okay. So what? Everyone takes the piss out of everyone but once LVP does it, they clutch their pearls in shock. It became even more apparent that these two truly had a game plan this season.

Since Teddi’s on the offensive, as she again claims, in her blog, that LVP wanted to punish Dorit over the situation with Lucy by being passive aggressive. Teddi must either be delusional or still butt hurt over trying to make LVP take accountability for something she didn’t do. How can she, even after watching the episode a week before it airs, sees that Dorit was the one still talking about Lucy, still write such a blog? It really baffles me. Who was that woman she showed us last season?

As for the entertainment…here’s a clip of Teddi addressing #lategate last season. Funny how the poll on Watch What Happens Live for last season is so applicable now.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.

CHATTERBOX: KEIRN