For those of you who aren’t new to my blog, you’ll recall that I do a yearly Christmas/holiday card. This is a tradition I’ve upheld since I was a child. What started out as handwritten/handcrafted holiday cards for my mother, immediate relatives and a few friends, bloomed into products that reflected my creativity with time and age. When majority people are enjoying their summers (me too), I usually start the planning process for what my holiday card will typically look like. I don’t really consider myself the most creative person. However, being able to express and share the joy I feel for my favourite time of the year (besides my birthday) brings a level of contentment and satisfaction I seldom feel. I have looked forward to this tradition of mine every year.

It wasn’t until 2020 (whew! this year has affected me in more ways than I realised) that I began to question this tradition. Was it worth it? Could I keep it going?

I was in the snowy mountains of Nagano prefecture in western Japan for my second ski holiday when I sent out the 2020 card.

I was met with the usual warm responses from recipients as they got accustomed to getting their annual card. One particular individual’s response stood out. I’ve thought a bit about whether or not I should share the whole text exchange but I’ll only quote a small section.

“ Hey my son…Merry Christmas to you tooooo. Love you. 🙏🏾💪🏾. But a time yuh tap sen single photo…”

The second half of the text is commenting on the fact that I’m the only subject on my cards. I scoffed at the comment initially as I thought it to be innocuous and said in jest. After all, this was my thing, for myself, that I chose to share with others. I didn’t need anyone else to help make it happen. There have been too many instances where people don’t show up or when they do, chaos ensues. Having to rely on just me to bring the yearly cards to life was gratifying and hassle free. But, and there is a but, the comment stuck to me for some reason.

Why did it matter that I was the only person on the card? Shouldn’t it be enough that I had taken the time to do this yearly? Who amongst us/them did anything like this, for them? Anyway, I carried on with the tradition and now we’re here.

2025 has been one of the best years that I can recall from recent times. I saw Queen Bey perform for the second time at the Cowboy Carter Tour, had the most amazing summer, grew closer to friends of old, got reacquainted with people I’ve known for years, started building relationships of value and opened up myself to newness like never before. However, it wasn’t without its own faults. See my blog to understand why. Still nothing can top 2021’s worst year title for me.

Though I knew exactly what I wanted for this year’s card, the text from 2020 popped back up in my head. This can also be attributed to how I’ve been also feeling this year, even with it being the best. It’s usually bittersweet and manageable, still is, but this season has been a bit rough. For some reasons I won’t say just yet (you might be asking then why even write this blog or bring it up, sorry), I didn’t want to go through with this year’s card. The joy I once wanted to share was nowhere to be found. JOY was replaced with fear, disappointment, sadness, loneliness, emptiness and coldness. This sounds very depressing I must say but I promise you, I am all right…

I needed to follow through with what I started especially since I already had the outfits. I went to the Dallas Arboretum to do my shoot. They had lights set up for different winter and Christmas themes. The place looked beautiful. I set up my Canon KISS X80, my iPhone 14 Pro Max and snapped away. It felt good and familiar. I liked it. All that was left for me to do was to edit the photos, choose the ones I’d use for dissemination and choose the style of frame. Since I’d been planning this for a while, it didn’t take long for me to complete. The card was ready.

Now that I’d follow through with doing this year’s card, we’re back to the text. It’s uncanny how much my life now seems to be on the trajectory based on my response. They do say power is in the tongue or something like that. Though I wasn’t angry about the text, I didn’t particularly love it neither. It felt unnecessary then. I guess I was in my feelings somewhat because that person did not receive two of the four cards sent since 2020. Petty but it is what it is. Since they wanted to see other subjects in my card, and it wasn’t going to happen, then they didn’t need to get one. Logical, no? I love this person very much but that was a tad bit annoying.

It felt good to be self directing/shooting but the joy was still not there. I knew why. Based on the happenings of 2024 – 2025 and having that text resurface, I realised after this holiday season, I no longer wanted the subject to just be me. It didn’t help that this Christmas season makes it 10 years that my cousin, Kyron, departed this earth. Old feelings were stirred up. We loved Christmas and this was the 10th one he wasn’t here for.

You see, I’m not one who runs from change. In fact, I welcome it. The caveat is that I need to feel included in or have a level of control over my participation in said change. I’ve loved every minute of the years I put into the creativity, self expression and evolution of my holiday card. However, the time has come for me to embrace the new – whatever that means for the foreseeable future.

Will I continue the tradition I’ve had for so long? If I should answer right now, I’d say no. I can’t say what I’ll be feeling next year. So if the subject of a possible card ends up being solely me then (as they say) the more things change, the more they remain the same.

Thanks for all the support over the years and know that the love was felt, appreciated and returned.

Happy Holidays everyone!